I spend a lot of time alone In Columbia. This means I walk around places aimlessly and listen in on people’s conversations and laugh at them. I have heard some interesting things, like…

A chick on campus talking to a friend on the phone saying, “I just HATE it when he sticks it there!!”….. You can interpret that as you will.

At Target a girl who looked to be home from college for the summer actually threw a temper tantrum saying she doesn’t have ANY black shorts and has to buy some. She was wearing black shorts..

A very overweight woman was shopping with her very overweight daughter and grabbed a bunch of size small clothes and told her daughter, “baby we wear this size because it stands for fuckin’ sexy!”. Yes, I almost went over and hugged her for being awesome and hilarious.

A guy on the phone said, “maannnn fuck that it’s gonna be like a Pimp Christmas tonight…I’m getting laid!”… As he is buying wine coolers from Wal Mart. So great.

These are just a few of the hilarious things I’ve overheard while living here. There have been so many more that I can’t even remember.

Merry Pimp Christmas y’all.